I thought this morning’s gubernatorial press release was maybe a fake or a prank or a mail system hack, so I held it pending confirmation.  To my surprise, it is confirmed as an “approved” message from the Governor.

Here it is in all it’s, er, glory:

Dear Fellow Nevadans and 1864 Club Members,

Rasmussen Polls Show We Have Pushed Ahead of Rory Reid as Nevada Voters Realize…We Were Right!

We’ve all seen where this “hopey…changey…feely…and now “believey” kind of stuff” has gotten our great Country…to the Socialist World of Big Government and of Higher Taxes…and to a Government Takeover of the Banks…of the Insurance Industry…of the Car Companies…and now…of the Peoples’ Health Care and their Right to make Personal Decisions with their doctors.

These “hopey…changey…feely…and now “believey” kinda of things will bring our entire country that much closer to a “European Socialist State”…nothing that our Forefathers have Envisioned and nothing close to my Vision for A Nevada Government which is…For the People and By the People.”

The hopey changey stuff I’ve heard before of critisism by Palin of Obama et al…the believey stuff focuses on bs’s current theme…the feely accentuates this ploy bs is using, like a song which was cool, but over time gets old/boring/drops off the charts, and it loses its credibility which I believe is dangerous for bs as it puts bs too close to areas of our President’s administration. That polls suggest people have had enough. As the polls are showing, Nevadan Voters Say No to Large Government and are Saying Yes to Lower Taxes…Yes to Smaller Government…Yes to Real Jobs…and Yes to the Vision that The Gibbons Administration has been pursuing!

We’ve Stayed on Track…and remain Locked on Target…and many Nevada Voters are now saying…Yes, Governor Gibbons, You Were Right!

And I say…As Your Governor of Nevada, Battle Born and There for You…We Were Right!

I urge you and your friends to join our growing 1864 Club of Real Nevadans for a Strong and Real Government, By the People and For the People. Join the Our 1864 Club Now!

For $18.64 you can Join the Stampede of Freedom for Nevada…One Click for Nevada…One Click for Freedom…One Click for Lower Taxes and One Click to Join Our Surge for Individual Freedom in Nevada.

Come on board and be part of the charge towards Freedom…For Nevada Families…For All of Us…For Real.

Warmest Regards,

Governor Jim Gibbons

Editor’s Notes:

– What Is With All The Capitalization?  Loses its impact with overuse.

– Ditto…with…the plethora…of ellipses…which are usually used to indicate an intentional omission of a word or a phrase, a pause in speech, an unfinished thought or a trailing off into silence.  In this case, they seem to indicate an inability to string together enough words to form a coherent or compelling sentence.

– “hopey…changey…feely…and now “believey” needs an extra set of quotation marks there at the end

– “believey”??

– “That polls suggest people have had enough.” is a fragment, not a sentence

– “Forefathers have Envisioned” is the wrong verb tense.  Because, you know, the Forefathers are dead.  It should be “Forefathers envisioned” or “Forefathers had envisioned.”

– “critisism” is spelled “criticism” in most parts of the galaxy

– Shall we assume “bs” means Brian Sandoval?  (And why not go with capital “BS” since you capitalized every other word?)  Better yet, why not just use his name — like grown ups?

My respectful suggestion to the writer:

Put…The…Crack…Pipe…Down.

And to the proofreader:

It may be time to consider the possibility that proofreading is not your calling.

And to the campaign consultants:

How much do they pay you guys again?

And to the Governor:

For Real?